Seriously, **Senator Reid** has a face of a Saint -a Saint Bernard. Now I know why they call you the arithmetic man. You add partisanship, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Reid is so physically unimposing, he makes Pee Wee Herman look like Mr. T. And Reid's so dumb, he makes Speaker Pelosi look like an intellectual. Nevada is soooo screwed! If I were less polite, I'd say Reid makes an armed robbery convict look successful.
Speaking of the Speaker... **Nancy Pelosi,** damn girl, you must've been something before electricity. THe Rumors are true that Pelosi uses the world's first Botox Dialysis machine 24/7. Seriously, the Speaker may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. She really is an idiot. Madame Speaker... want to make twelve bucks the hard way? Pelosi says she's not partisan, but her constituents call her Madame Pelossilini.
**Charlie Rangel**... still alive and still robbing the taxpayers blind. What does that make, six decades of theft? Rangel's the only man with a rent-controlled mansion. He's the guy who writes our tax laws but forgot to pay taxes on $75 grand in rental income! So why isn't he the Treasury Secretary? Rangel runs more scams than your average dope dealer.
**Barney Frank** - he's a better actor than Fred Flintstone. Consider... he and Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown and they're not only not serving time with Bubba and Roger, they're still heading up the financial system! Let's all admit it... Barney Frank slobbers more than a sheepdog on Novocain. (kinda gets that whole spit or swallow question out of the way, right) How did this guy get elected? Oh, that's right... he's from Massachusetts . That's the state that elected Ted Kennedy and John Kerry -- men of the people!
You know, if **Senator Dodd** were any more crooked, you could open wine bottles with him. Here's a news flash, Dodd: when your local newspaper calls you a "lying weasel", it may be time to retire. Dodd's involved in more shady deals than the Clintons. Even Barney looks up to him (while he's taking care of business).
Press Secretary **Robert Gibbs**, I really respect you... especially given your upbringing. All you've overcome... I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory and your father is listed as a test tube marked "reject". I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works for you. Personally, I don't think you're a total moron, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others?
As for **pResident Obama**, what can I say? They say pResident Obama's arrogant and aloof, but I don't agree. Now it's true when you enter the room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket. His mind is open to new ideas...well honestly, sometimes I get open and empty confused. Obama lies so much, I was actually surprised to find out his first name really was Barack. Just don't ask about his middle name...or who's running the country....
**FOR THOSE THAT VOTED FOR "HOPE AND CHANGE", YOU HAVE IT COMING...
BEND OVER AND PREPARE TO RECEIVE YOUR BOUNTY!**
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